i just had sex bonerless
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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