Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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