do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize