nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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