I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
