I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
