woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
