Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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