I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize