my vag is so smooth its legendary
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize