It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I need water and some morals
Randomize
