Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
