I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
