Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
