would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I am available for nakedness
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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