I'm going to jail i love you
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My vagina is officially offended.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
