honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My dick has a subreddit
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
