I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
