My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
