ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
