I am full of burrito and curiosity
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
