I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
