You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
