i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
