omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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