You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
