is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize