I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
