Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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