No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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