If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize