I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
