ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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