help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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