This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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