If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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