Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
