he shaved USA in his pubs
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
