did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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