i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
