Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
