dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
