you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
