I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
