there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
