dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
