Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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