May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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