You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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