So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
