Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
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