i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
