Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
