if i can run in heels then i can drive
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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