also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
