Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
