I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
