also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
