She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize