I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
